$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
