i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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