well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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