my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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