Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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