Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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