Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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