i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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