that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
