I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
