that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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