you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
God, I missed his penis.
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