I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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