You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize