She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need a beard to bite.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
