She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
