Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
