too bad you live with your parents still
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
