I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
