Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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