Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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