you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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