Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize