We named our party play list daddy issues
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Shame - the story of my life.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
