How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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