Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
dude. I can hear the air.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
