I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
