life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize