covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
