i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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