He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize