Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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