are you still at the devil's house?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
