I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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