I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
