Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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