Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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