i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
