he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
