after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
