Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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