My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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