there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize