I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
