I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
