when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
