every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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