When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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