I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
