i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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