I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize