i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
