Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
