That's intense
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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