they need to just BURY HIM!
Dignity is for republicans.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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