Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
