I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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