your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
