am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
