whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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